Irreversible (30/11/10)

Irreversible

While you may marvel at its original style and narrative structure, Irreversible is an incredibly uncomfortable watch. From the opening scene it was clear that Gaspar Noe is not going to hold back on disturbing images. A man is brutally murdered, his head visibly framed as it caves under repeated strikes from a fire extinguisher. The motive becomes clear as the plot reveals itself backwards in an arc not dissimilar from Memento, unearthing the savage rape of Alex (Monica Bellucci) and the events prior to this first (or last) act of carnage. Shot with jerky camera and copious strobe lighting, everything about this film is a successful attempt to induce nausea and misery. Bellucci's astounding performance only adds to the horror, and partakes in the most realistic rape sequence ever put on film. While respect is due to the films power, this is not a film I want to see again.

Owen Lewis     

Bruno (10/12/10)

Brüno

With the global success of Borat, it was clear that mocumentary satirist Sacha Baron Cohen needed a change of guise for another attack on prejudice. Enter homosexual "fashionista" Brüno, and his quest to become "the biggest Austrian superstar since Hitler". Once more Cohen bounces bravely through a flurry of evocative set pieces and interviews, leaving embarrassed and angry American's in his wake. 

As with Borat, the nagging doubts regarding each scene's authenticity is an inevitable distraction, while the countless lewd jokes grow tiresome. Though the character is not as charming as his Kazakhstani cousin, the fact remains that Cohen is a master of his trade. His comic timing and characterisation make each scene a rip-roaring success, as he manipulates his targets for side-splitting results. With disturbingly pushy parents and a session with a gay converter among the many highlights, Brüno is a superb satire, not to be missed. 

Owen Lewis  

Nativity 2

Adorable kids sing, dance and laugh aplenty in this very british but VERY boring School of Rock take off.

Down with the kids teachers assistant Desmond (Marc Wooten) enters his class into a national choir competition against the will of his Head Teacher Aunt Mrs Bevan (Pam Ferris).

Enter straight laced Mr Peterson played by suave scot David Tennant. Tasked with replacing Martin Freeman's Middle Earth bound Mr Madden and boosting grades, he is also struggling with dad issues and the fear of the arrival of his first child.

As Desmond and a reluctant Mr Peterson strive to get to the squiffy kids to the competition in time, a rival school choir lead by Mr Shakespeare (Jason Watkins) battles the pomposity of Mr Peteson's twin brother Roderick (Tennant again).

The kids adore Desmond but parents watching may not. His Michael Jackson-esque big-kid vibe is as uncomfortable as it is unfunny.

This awkwardness pales in comparison compared to the awfully dubbed musical numbers. What should provide much needed relief from the painfully predictable narrative, the songs are so appalling that not even  a cute chubby kid breakdancing can save them.

Apart from the occasional smile caused by a foolish Mr Shakespeare and the delightful child actors, this is no place to find festive fun.

When the competition is finally over (have a guess who won) and the dad issues sorted ("I'm proud of you, son!"), you will be forgiven for thinking the lights were about to come on and you can get back to your Christmas shopping.

But as the title implies, there's a baby to be born in a stable.

As the two leads stumble clumsily around the screen for one final time, you will leave feeling more Scrooge than Santa.

Especially as the first one is only a fiver on DVD.